


A Right to Happiness

by Fortune_Maiden



Category: Kamen Rider Blade
Genre: Gen, H/C bingo, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Series, Unlikely Friendships, i just want more Kotarou and Hajime interaction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-17
Updated: 2019-05-17
Packaged: 2020-03-06 15:26:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18853822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fortune_Maiden/pseuds/Fortune_Maiden
Summary: He has to tell them.He knows he can’t hide it forever.If he does though…will they accept him?





	A Right to Happiness

He nicks himself with the knife while preparing dinner, in a moment of distracted carelessness. The wound is thin and shallow, a tiny line on the side of his palm that he quickly runs under cold water and expects will disappear before the night is up.

What he does not expect, nor even notices, is the faint smudge of green that reaches the edge of his sleeve and then transfers to his wrist. He dutifully washes the knife, and wipes down the counter before carrying on, giving Shirai – the instigator of the distraction – a harsh, but ultimately unbacked, glare.

Hajime forgets about the injury as quickly as he receives it and finishes up the meal for tonight. It’s his turn on the rotation. He’s not the best of cooks, but Shirai stopped hanging over him while he cooks a while back, so it’s as much a sign of improvement as any. Hajime refuses to admit he’d been observing Shirai during his own turns to make dinner.

It’s four of them for dinner now.  Shirai’s busy with his own work more often than not, but since Hirose moved out, and Kenzaki… left, he’s all but moved back into Jacaranda. He insists it’s because he’s worried about his family, but Hajime thinks he’s just lonely.

He knows a thing or two about that nowadays.

It’s over dinner when they’re talking about their respective days that Amane notices it. She cuts through the chatter with a sharp “Hajime-san, what’s that green stuff on your hand?” and Hajime almost drops his fork from the alarm.

Shirai does drop his, letting it clatter against his plate as his eyes turn to saucers aimed directly at the neon green bloodstain on Hajime’s wrist. It’s a faded dried streak at this point, and Hajime thinks it’d be easy to cover up with some excuse, but all color has drained from Shirai’s face now, and he babbles incoherently.

“You know, Amane-chan, it’s that stuff. _That._ ”

“I don’t know,” Amane retorts unimpressed. “What stuff?”

“…The stuff that’s green.”

“You’re not making any sense,” she tells him bluntly and looks at Hajime expectantly. Her uncle’s unneeded dramatics have put both her and her mother on alert.

“It’s paint,” Hajime mutters quickly, staring down at the stain, and wiping it off with his thumb. “I missed a spot when washing my hands earlier. No big deal.” He gives Shirai a pointed warning glare as he says it.

“Paint? Is that all?” Haruka says with a soft relieved sigh, as Amane stares at Shirai.

“You couldn’t just say that?”

“I…forgot the word,” Shirai lies awkwardly after a pause, ears turning red.

“You forgot the word “paint”?”

“It happens! When you know as many words as I do, you’re bound to forget a few in the moment. You’ll see when you’re older Amane-chan.”

“No way,” Amane scrunches her face in disbelief, and instead turns back to Hajime. He fully anticipates her next question. “What were you painting, Hajime-san?”

“I tried drawing a forest. It didn’t turn out well, so I gave up,” he says curtly. Shirai’s distraction gave him the needed time to prepare something believable at least.

“You’re good at everything Hajime-san. Can I see it? Can I?”

“I don’t have it now…maybe later.” He makes a mental note to buy some paints tomorrow and put something together for her. He hates lying to Amane, however unavoidable it feels sometimes.

“Don’t forget! Let’s paint together next time, okay?”

“Sure,” he replies with a smile.

The pitfall avoided; dinner carries on as normal. There’s a lingering sense of unease though from the way Shirai keeps shooting him glances and the suddenly too conspicuous stain still on his sleeve. Shirai lingers behind to help clean up as Amane and Haruka withdraw upstairs. Hajime waits for the inevitable as he inspects the counter.

“That was a close one, wasn’t it…” Shirai’s relief comes flooding out all at once as he slumps over the bar.

“Not really,” Hajime replies. “You made it worse.”

“ _Sorry_ ,” he replies, not sorry at all. “You need to be more careful about these things, you know.”

Hajime glares in response, then averts his gaze to scan the floor. Green “paint” on his hand is easy to explain. That same green paint in the kitchen less so, and despite Shirai’s lecture being unnecessary, it’s not wrong. He used to inspect and cover up any injuries fervently. He let his guard down too much this time.

If Amane hadn’t believed him…

“It’s for the best, you know,” Shirai says quietly, too unlike himself, and Hajime looks up. “I keep telling myself that things are better this way, but after everything that’s happened, I wonder if it really is.”

“What is?”

“Keeping your secret,” Shirai blurts out, then jolting upwards from the intensity of Hajime’s glare adds, “Hey, _I’m_ not going to say anything! I was wondering if you should.”

“No.”

“At least hear me out,” Shirai whines. “Sure, we covered it up this time, but what about next time?”

“There won’t be a next time.”

“You don’t know that. Besides, it’s not just the green blood, there’s…” He trails off guiltily, and though Hajime waits for him to finish the thought, he doesn’t.

“What is it?”

“My book…” Shirai whispers looking away. “It’ll be out soon.”

Hajime frowns. “Yes.”

“Sis and Amane-chan will read it.”

“…Yes.”

It’s an increasingly vocal niggle in the back of his mind.

“I mean, your name’s not explicitly in it, but Chalice is, and, well, I don’t think it’s too hard a stretch…”

“No,” Hajime agrees, and asks the question he’s dreaded since he first heard about that book. “How much is in there about…”

“Enough,” Shirai answers firmly. “It’s Kenzaki’s story too.”

Hajime nods. He’s always known about the book, and he still remembers the challenging look Shirai gave him the day he announced his book deal to his family. That look is still there, even if Shirai won’t look at Hajime directly.

That look makes it hard for Hajime to say he’s looking forward to reading it. Despite everything.

“What happened tonight just made me think, would it be worse if they find out on their own when the book comes out?” Shirai wonders out loud. It’s a thought that crossed Hajime’s mind as well. Haruka and Amane learning the truth was always inevitable. Even without the book, it would only be a matter of time before they noticed how his face didn’t change. In ten, fifteen years’ time, Amane would be all grown up, and he would stay exactly the same.

The book only shortens the time limit.

“If…” Hajime begins but his voice fails. It takes him a few moments to find it again. “If I _do_ tell Amane-chan, and she doesn’t accept it… what then?”

“If she reads it in the book, and doesn’t, what then as well,” Shirai parrots. “I know you have a plan for _that_.”

Hajime does have a plan. His plan is to disappear before she reads it. The Battle Fight is over. There’s no one left to target Haruka and Amane, so there’s nothing necessitating his stay anymore. He only stays because he wants to be there.

With them.

However long he’s able.

“I think you’re worrying for nothing though,” Shirai then says pointedly, looking him directly in the eye again. “You’re not giving Sis and Amane-chan enough credit. You know how much they’ve already been through because of you? And that’s without even taking the kidnappings and bomb threats into account—which I still haven’t forgiven you for, by the way. At this point, it’ll taken a little more than some green blood to scare them off.”

Hajime shakes his head.

“It’s easy for you to say,” he scoffs. “It’s one thing to reveal I was Chalice to them. People are accepting of Kamen Riders. Accepting an Undead is different.”

He’s faced it enough times to be certain.

“This is why I keep saying you’re not giving them enough credit…”  Shirai just grumbles. “I accepted you, didn’t I?”

“Debatably.”

“Touché,” Shirai agrees wryly. “But the difference is, I don’t like you.”

“What a coincidence.” Hajime can’t help but smirk slightly. The two of them got along well enough during the first few months, when Shirai still lived at the café and Hajime barely left his room. Their relationship was strained significantly by the Undead reveal, but even that had always been more about the dangers he’d brought home than anything personal.

Shirai was a nice guy. Perhaps a little too much so. Whatever they had now wasn’t friendship, but a silent acceptance and an occasional cooking lesson.

And a reminder of a mutual friend.

“You probably don’t realize it, but your appearance got Haruka and Amane through a difficult time. Don’t think they won’t do the same for you.”

It’s a reminder to Hajime that there’s still one secret Shirai doesn’t know. And if Hajime thinks about it, it’s probably the one secret he fears revealing even more than his identity. His expression sours at the reminder, and Shirai takes it as a cue to wrap it up.

“Whatever though, I’m not going to force you into it. And I’m not going to tell them myself, if you’re still paranoid about that,” he says. “Just think about it, okay? And don’t pull any more disappearing acts. I’ll track you down and kick your ass if you do.”

_Good luck with that,_ Hajime thinks. He watches as Shirai runs up the steps, but a mumble stops him before he can disappear upstairs.

“I’m…happy now,” Hajime says. He intends it to himself, but Shirai’s already heard him and stands still listening. “This happiness was given to me by Kenzaki. It wouldn’t be fair to him to risk it.”

“No,” Shirai turns around with an uncharacteristically serious expression. “If you think being able to live as a human means you now have to stay in a happy little bubble, _that’s_ not fair to Kenzaki.”

Hajime looks up. There’s a lot he wants to say on this matter, but Shirai is faster to the punch.

“You may be 10,000 years old technically, but you’ve been a human for less than two. You’ve still got a lot to learn,” Shirai says sharply, but there’s a grin on his face as he looks up. “And well, you have a few people who haven’t rejected you yet, right? Maybe there’s a lesson to take away from that.”

He does disappear upstairs this time, despite Hajime’s retort that he’s already learned more from Amane and her mother than he’ll ever learn from Shirai.

Hajime does wonder the meaning of Shirai’s rebuke in his room that night though. His human experiences are limited, despite the range of emotions the Battle Fight brought with it. Amane, her parents, and Kenzaki have taught him the human concepts of hope and love, but they haven’t taught him how to live with them, not really. Kenzaki’s last words to him suddenly feel a lot heavier.

_What are you doing right now?_ Hajime thinks to himself. _Wherever you are, are_ you _happy?_

He stares at his hand where the thin scratch from the knife was earlier. It may have healed already, but it’s still a reminder.

He imagines the next day: when his hands will be a mess of green and red and blue, as Amane pretends to harshly judge his lazy attempt at painting with her hands on her hips. Haruka will jokingly suggest he take lessons from her.

It will be a peaceful scene, as if tonight’s near-slip never happened. He wonders if humans are just naturally resilient about these things as he recalls all the times he’d been welcomed back with open arms after an unexplainable disappearance. He thinks of how Kenzaki kept coming back no matter what new revelations came to light, no matter how hard Hajime tried to push him away.

Maybe Shirai is right, and he really does worry for nothing. It’s not something Hajime will ever tell him (he is adamant about this), but with the deadline fast approaching, maybe he does need to trust in Amane and Haruka more. They’ve been silently trusting him far too long as it was.

He doesn’t know how much he will be able to say about himself. He doesn’t know if it’s something they’ll even want to hear.

But he knows for sure that he doesn’t want to see their reactions when they piece the truth together themselves from Shirai’s book.

_Tomorrow_ , he promises himself, and turns off the light.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed!
> 
> This is my first time writing these characters so I'm still getting the hang on them haha. But I really loved Blade and the relationships between the characters, and got surprisingly attached to the awkward interactions between Hajime and Kotarou (that got kinda dropped in the 2nd half...).   
> I also just felt a little unsatisfied that Amane and Haruka never found out Hajime's secret (though Amane seems to know in Zi-O...and the drama CD I guess haha) and yeah... there you go!
> 
> I want to write more Blade fic haha. Preferably set in-series next time so Kenzaki can be here too!


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